The cold season has begun.
But there’s something worse out there: the plethora of esoteric remedies to allegedly prevent and cure the common cold, like…
- Rubbing Vicks on your feet
- Sticking your face above a bowl of hot, scented water
- A swig of gin and/or cayenne and/or oregano oil
- Sweating out the virus
- The mustard plaster
- Flu busters
- Putting something in your bum (like suppositories)
- Chicken noodle soup
- Cough syrups
- Antibiotics
Being a pharmacist, I get asked about those all the time. And really, I don’t care if people wanna use medication, natural health products or home remedies… as long as what they do is safe, effective, evidence-based and science-based.
Would you like to know what works and what doesn’t? Here are the TOP 10 useless remedies for the common cold. Please laugh at each of them. They deserve it.
Translated by Valentin Nguyen; edits and proofreading by Robyn Penney.
Posted in Comics
Tagged 200, acidic, airways, allergic reactions, ancestors, anti-inflammatory, antibiotics, antifungal, antimicrobial, antiseptic, antiviral, apple cider vinegar, ass, bacteria, bad, balm, Benadryl, body, boost, bowl, breathe, bronchitis, broth, bullshitometer, bum, burns, buster, camphor, carrot, cataplasm, cayenne, celery, cells, chicken noodle soup, children, cinnamon, clear, clinical trials, clinically tested, codeine, cold, common cold, contraindicated, cooked, cough, cough reflex, cough syrup, coughing, counterirritation, danger, dead, detoxifying, dextromethorphane, diphenhydramine, disgusting, DM, doctor, dressing, drinking, drops, drugstores, ear infection, echinacea, effect, effective, elderberry, electrolytes, eliminating, esoteric, essential oils, eucalyptus, evidence-based, exaggerated, external, eye drops, feet, first sign, flu, foot, garlic clove, ginger, ginseng, grandmothers, gross, Gwyneth Paltrow, hallucinogenic, hazelwood necklace, head, healing, high dosage, high dose, home remedies, homeopathic, honey, hot liquid, hot water, hot yoga, humidity, hydrated, immune system, in vitro, infection, influenza, ingredients, inhaled, inhalers, inside, internal, intervention, intestines, irrigate, juniper, kids, lab, leeks, liquids, loosen, lozenges, lungs, marketing, masks, medication, menthol, misinterpreted, money, mouth-burning, mucus, mustard, natural health products, nausea, Neti pot, neurological, nose, ointments, opposite, orally, oregano oil, otitis, pain, penetrate, pepper, pharmacies, pharmacist, physician, pills, plaster, plausible, potato, poultice, preference, prolonging, properties, pure, real life, recipe, recovery, rectum, remedies, resistance, resistant, respiratory, rub, rubbing, run, safe, saline, salt, sauna, scented, science-based, scientific, secretions, seizures, selling, sick, sinus, sinuses, skin, smell, socks, soles, soothing, soup, stinging, strains, strengthens, strong, studies, substances, sucked, suffocation, superbacteria, suppository, swallow, swallowed, sweat, sweating, swelling, swig of gin, syrups, tablets, taste, teaspoon, tested, throat, throw up, towel, toxic, tract, turmeric, value, vapor, vegetable, Vicks, virus, vitamin C, vitamin E deficiency, vocabulary, warm, wet feet, wool, wrong, zinc
Do you feel like JUICING?
Yes? Well that’s great, because as it happens, I’m launching my own juice cleanse!
Such cleanses are ultra-popular and expensive right now, so I figured I could make big, fast money.
But first and foremost, I wanted to create something that did not exist: a juice cleanse with honest health claims. Popular cleanses promise detoxifying, alkalizing and anti-cancer properties… but the people who sell them obviously don’t understand (or voluntarily exaggerate) what science really says.
So I took typical descriptions of various juice cleanses found online (shown below, with the red X on them), and I made them more realistic.
Get ready for an overdose of turmeric, ginger, chlorophyll and activated charcoal!
Translated by Valentin Nguyen.
Posted in Comics
Tagged activated charcoal, added sugar, alcohol, alertness, allergies, Alzheimer's, anti-cancer, anti-inflammatory, antibacterial, antidepressant, antiemetic, antiviral, apple, asthma, athletes, athletic, bad breath, beets, beneficial, benefits, blend, blood, bloodflow, bodily functions, body, bogus, bones, bottle juice, bromelain, broths, caffeine, cancer, carotenoids, cayenne, cell, cellular level, cereals, chelator, chlorophyll, chocolate, cigarette, cilantro, claims, clean, cleanse, cleansing, cocoa, coffee, companies, contaminate, curcumin, cure, dairy, dangerous, days, defenses, dendritic, deprived, detox, detoxify, diet, digest, digestive system, disturb, drain, eat, effective, eleminates, emunctory, energies, energy, excessive, exercise, extrapolation, eyes, farts, fatigue, feel like crap, fibers, flatulence, formidable, free radicals, fruits, ginger, gluten, green, habits, hair, headache, healthy, heavy metals, heme, hemoglobin, hippie, holistic, humans, hungry, hydrate, immune system, in vitro, inflammatory, intensive, internal, juice, lead, lemon, lemonade, lifestyle, lightness, living foods, lymphatic, maca, magical, meat, medications, medicinal, mercury, metabolism, molecule, mucous membranes, nails, natural, natural protection, naturally sweet, nausea, neurotoxins, nitrates, nutrients, nutritional value, organs, oxygenate, pain, partial, photosynthesis, physical performance, pineapple, plants, poison, pollutants, pollution, prevent, processed food, progression, properties, proteins, proven, purify, rats, receptor, red blood cells, regenerate, rehydrate, remedy, research, risks, shady, skin, sleep, smoking, soda, solid foods, soothes, sprouts, stomach, stress, sugar, superfood, tap water, taste, taste buds, tenderize, theobromine, tissues, tonic, toxic, toxicity, toxins, turmeric, useless, vegetables, vigilance, vitamin C, vitamins, waste, water, well-being, whole grains, yoga
